Don’t Be A Diet Hipster
“We’re better than you… and we know it.”
If you know the movie, I already like you.
If you don’t, it’s Dodgeball, and you should definitely watch it. But it’s a line which also represents a f**king annoying section of the fitness industry; a group who I’ve come to know as diet hipsters.
Have you ever sat for lunch with a colleague and heard stuff like this:
“I’m doing the Paleo diet. I’ve never felt better. Everyone should be doing it. It’s the way we are designed to eat.”
Congrats, you know a diet hipster.
Because less than two weeks later when you ask the same person about their awesome diet, you get:
“Oh, nah, I’m doing the Master Cleanse. It’s totally changed my life. Most people just haven’t got a clue what they’re doing to their body, barely anyone knows about this new system but it’s a real game changer.”
Yes, it seems the thing your resident diet hipster fears most about their nutrition plan is not a lack of results, but that other people start doing it too.
As soon as it catches on trend, they’ll move on to the next thing with a cool factor, even if it means going back in time:
… the raw vegan diet, the carnivore diet, the caveman diet…
I say why stop there?
I’m currently on the Stegosaurus diet. I only eat green vegetables 65,000,000 years past their sell by date. And yeah, sellotaping eight plates to my back each morning is a real b**ch, but the smug sense of superiority I have over all of you guys is worth it.
Why Do People Do This?
Well, it harks back to our incessant need to be cooler than our friends.
Ever had a friend love a song but then totally disown it the second it gets popular in the mainstream?
Sadly, these people are like cannon fodder to the many snake oil salesmen who operate within the fitness industry, because they’ll generally fall for anything in a bid to stay ahead of what everyone else in their social circle is doing.
One look at the sales figures for “It Works!” will tell you all you need to know…
It’s basically expensive saran wrap which claims to aid weight loss (and yes, it’s utter b****cks), but they drove over $1 billion in sales through social media advertising.
During the last recession, the weight loss industry was among the very few sectors to actually grow year on year.
We love the next big thing.
We live in hope of the discovery of a silver bullet for fat loss.
We are our own worst f**king enemy.
The problem we have in the fitness industry is that money can be made from over-complicating things, and we love to over-complicate things.
So instead of focusing on the law of thermodynamics being the number one factor in a solid weight loss diet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6), we focus on a sugar detox.
Or anything starting with the letter ‘C’.
Before you know it, we’re sat in a coffee shop sipping a kale infused mochaf**ker like an extra from Zoolander.
When science eventually catches up to the trendy diet and thoroughly debunks it, the diet hipster doesn’t care, because they’ve already moved on to a more exclusive, secret diet that “everyone in LA” is doing.
So now they’re eating only strawberries and avoiding direct sunlight.
(Which makes them even cooler than you. With your calories. And your protein. And your basic human physiology.)
So listen up…
If you want to get anywhere in the gym, repeat after me:
F**k. That. S**t.
Just because something is on trend, doesn’t mean it’s great.
You can make anyone believe anything if you say it with enough passion. For example; did you know that consuming two bananas a day can increase your risk of obesity by a huge 32%?
This is one of the first things I teach my personal training clients, and is one of the main reasons they’re able to get so lean.
Now, the question you’ve gotta ask yourself, is Russ telling the truth? Or is he being an a**hole to illustrate his point?
F**k Diet Hipsters
So, if you have a diet hipster at your workplace, my main piece of advice is not to follow suit.
Pretty soon, we lose focus of our goals.
What was once about losing weight, becomes more about being trendier than everyone else and we’re spending $300 a month on supplements but not seeing any RESULTS.
In no time at all, a year has gone by and you look exactly the same despite constantly being on a new damn diet.
Instead, focus only on the things which have been shown to be genuinely important:
- Control your calorie intake.
- Drink plenty water.
- Set your protein to maximize muscle growth/retention.
- Tweak your carbohydrates and fats to build a diet you can stick to.
That’ll get you much further than the latest bulls**t in the latest f**king magazine.
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- Leibel R.L., et al. Energy intake required to maintain body weight is not affected by wide variation in diet composition. Am J Clin Nutr. (1992)
- Golay A., et al. Similar weight loss with low- or high-carbohydrate diets. Am J Clin Nutr. (1996)
- Golay A., et al. Weight-loss with low or high carbohydrate diet. Int J Obes Relat Metab Disord. (1996)
- Luscombe-Marsh N.D., et al. Carbohydrate-restricted diets high in either monounsaturated fat or protein are equally effective at promoting fat loss and improving blood lipids. Am J Clin Nutr. (2005)
- Raatz S.K., et al. Reduced Glycemic Index and Glycemic Load Diets Do Not Increase the Effects of Energy Restriction on Weight Loss and Insulin Sensitivity in Obese Men and Women. J Nut. (2005)
- Johnston C.S., et al. Ketogenic low-carbohydrate diets have no metabolic advantage over nonketogenic low-carbohydrate diets. Am J Clin Nutr. (2006)