You gotta love fitness quotes.
They don’t make sense. They’re scientifically incorrect. But we say them anyway, cuz #motivation.
Today I’m going to show you 8 popular fitness quotes that are dead wrong.
One thing I’ve learned after 20 years in the fitness industry is that people will believe anything you say if you’re in good shape.
So before we start the countdown, let’s see if I can get this one into circulation…
Did you know, if you sneeze and fart at the same time, your body takes a screenshot. Tweet it.
1. “Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels!”
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
I’ll let you stick with your cardboard flavored bowl of depression salad, while I tuck into the Galaxy.
If nothing tasted as good as skinny feels, our nation wouldn’t be in the midst of a f**king obesity crisis, would it?
Besides, I can confirm that SKINNY doesn’t mean FIT. Nor does it mean HEALTHY.
In many cases, skinny means underweight and/or malnourished. Telling someone to aspire to be skinny is just plain wrong, and can lead people down a dark path of obsessive behavior and eating disorders.
So f**k that.
2. “No Pain, No Gain!”
The person who came up with this clearly couldn’t tell the difference between pain, and gain…
It might sound cool, but it’s certainly not true.
Don’t get me wrong, though.
I love the feeling which comes from pushing a muscle to true failure. The burn… The intense build-up of metabolites within the muscle cell… The drive required to succeed to the end of the set… but pain?!
Pain should not be felt in the gym.
Physical pain is felt when you stand on an upturned plug. Emotional pain is felt when you forget pack your headphones in your gym bag.
But if you’re feeling pain when you lift, you are lifting WRONG. Your favorite social media fitspo’s may preach about “Going Beastmode” every day, but trust me when I say that this is the fast-track to the injury room.
Plus, this tends to make people think they’re not doing enough, when in fact they are.
So f**k this macho bulls**t!
Having overseen thousands of transformations over the years, I can confirm that around 80% of your results are going to come from those normal days where you performed a solid workout and got the job done, with around 10% coming from terrible workouts where you felt bloated and hangry, and the other 10% coming from workouts where you felt unstoppable like Ivan Drago in Rocky IV.
3. “Eat Clean To Get Lean!”
Okay, this one has good intentions.
But that doesn’t stop it being dead wrong.
I’m all for eating more fruit, vegetables and lean meat. But that doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get lean AF.
This one should read, “Eat whatever you want… just don’t be a d**k.”
In this post, I spoke about how clean eating can make us build an unhealthy relationship with food, as it encourages us to place items on a list of so-called “clean” and “dirty”. The net result is most people wind up trying to live on the same 5-6 foods, before getting bored out of their mind and binge eating their way back to square one.
Your diet is numbers based, not food based, and there is no single food which will inherently make you gain body fat. The only thing that’ll do that is a calorie surplus. Obviously some foods make is easier to go over our daily calorie target than others, but that doesn’t mean you’re unable to eat them, providing you can control the monster within you…
Because the best diet is the one you can stick to. (1)
There’s no point in going super hard for two weeks then ruining everything, right? People who do this bulls**t end up spinning their wheels for years.
Plus, studies clearly show us that there is no difference in fat loss results whether we follow a low carb diet, or a low fat diet, or a diet which is moderate in both food groups. As long as total calories and protein intake are controlled, you can use the approach that you enjoy the most, and you can expect to see results.
Nothing is off limits. (2)
4. “Haters Are My Motivators!”
We all know an a**hole.
And we all like proving them wrong.
But if we want to create real, lasting change in our physique then we need to find a different source of motivation. (3)
I wrote a piece of content which delves deeper into this, so go check that out, but basically in my experience “haters” are some of the weakest people you’ll ever meet. They only put you down out of fear you’ll succeed, because they are unhappy with their own situation.
Don’t give them this much power. They don’t deserve it.
Using them as a source of motivation to drag our a** out of bed early and hit the gym might work at first, because there’s nothing like a sly little “You won’t stick to it” remark to light a fire under you, right?
But give it a little time, and you’ll see why I hate this quote…
Once your so-called “haters” realize they can’t stop you from reaching your goals, they will try to become your friend.
Your sole source of motivation is taken away overnight.
This is where people get complacent and stop working hard.
So by all means, use the words of a negative jerk to get started. But as soon as you can set some goals and focus on achieving them FOR YOU, the better you will be.
We live in a society of fragile egos, where likes determine happiness, and we let the opinions of others impact our self-worth way more than we should. This is bulls**t. The moment you realize your own true potential, you will become more than you ever though you could be.
5. “Couples Who Train Together Stay Together!”
I can feel the rage building up inside me…
Yes, that’s right. Uncle Russ is about to go on a rant….
There are two types of couples at your local gym.
There are the men and women who happen to be in a relationship, and nobody really cares, and they just train. And then there are the men and women who spend their entire time in the gym trying to show everybody else they’re a couple.
Take a look next time you train. You’ll see them.
He’s orange, and she only trains glutes.
Oh, these guys do all kinds of cute stuff… from her sitting on his lap while he performs a bench press, to him guiding her around the gym with his hand on her low back like a delicate little flower who might blow away if the air conditioning gets turned up.
Annoying behavior aside, training with your partner doesn’t mean they won’t break up with you.
If you are a total c**kwaffle in everyday life, you’ll still be a total c**kwaffle inside the gym. All you’ve done is put your significant other in a position where they can drop heavy objects on you.
The gym couple are a perfect example of this. One day it’s all sunshine and rainbows, taking selfies for Instagram, and the next day someone has forgotten to like the other person’s post so he’s training with his male friends, she’s training with her female friends, and the atmosphere is unbearable/hilarious until eventually he switches gyms completely and she drops a nuke on the entire relationship by posting a meme of her looking at the sea with a caption about “never making someone a priority when they treat you like an option.”
6. “Eat Less Move More!”
Weight loss is a tough journey.
And it’s a mental one, as much as a physical one.
For most people it involves changing habits which have been built over the course of their lifetime, so it takes time and (a lot of) effort to get things under control.
So when you’re having a tough day, and that snarky, self-important wonder-douche from your office over-simplifies your struggles with “Urgh, just eat less and move more”… feel free to knock them the f**k out.
It’s like telling a person who can’t swim to “drown less and float more.”
No s**t, Sherlock.
7. “Obsessed Is A Word The Lazy Use To Describe The Dedicated!”
Jack The Ripper was both obsessed and dedicated.
Doesn’t mean he wasn’t nuts.
I don’t like fitness quotes which are self-congratulatory. You only go to the gym. Steady the f**k on.
Sure, we could say they are all just “haters” (see earlier) who are jealous of your overall awesomeness, so they call you obsessed.
But maybe, just maybe, it’s because you genuinely never shut up about your Goddamn diet, Susan.
8. “Fall Down Seven times. Get Up Eight.”
Straight outta Instagram-land.
Where everyone has florescent white teeth and wearing yoga pants carries the same weight as a f**king PhD…
It appears people cannot count. How do you get up eight times if you only fall down seven? Come on, people!
Got a suggestion of a fitness quote that’s totally wrong for the sequel? Drop it in the comments below, and I’ll debunk the holy mother of f**k out of it next time.
- Smith C. F., et al. Flexible vs. Rigid dieting strategies: relationship with adverse behavioral outcomes. Appetite. (1999)
- Leibel R. L., et al. Energy intake required to maintain body weight is not affected by wide variation in diet composition . Am J Clin Nutr. (1992)
- Teixeira, P. J., et al. Exercise, physical activity, and self-determination theory: A systematic review. Int J Behav Nutr Phys Act. (2012)